treadmilltonowhere

Narrowing the Focus

One of the characteristics of my adult life "riddled" with ADD has been the constant pursuit of about 20 goals or projects at any given moment.  I've never been satisfied with a few pursuits like one job, a hobby, the yard, and reading the Bible.  I have always had about 20, including research projects, multiple business ideas, websites, creative projects, church tasks, many personal goals, etc.  I can dream up and start anything, but I have never finished any of it.  In addition, the new ideas seem to come on a daily basis, sometimes even multiple times per day.  It has not been helpful that I was usually hyper-confident and optimistic about the pending success of every idea I came up with.  Well, as I attempt to start anew, my current "goal" is to try and pursue only a few things for now.  I am narrowing my focus.  I am attempting only a few endeavors including my new job, my health, my family, and just a few creative outlets.  So far it seems to be working, although I have to constantly ignore the flashes of ideas, possibilities, and dreams that flood me each day.

I'm Back!?!

When I was diagnosed with ADD a couple of years ago it was the answer to all the questions.  It was the reason for all the failures and frustrations.  It was the bridge to save my marriage.  It was the reason to keep living.  Unfortunately, it was also the key bit of information I needed to surge ahead with even more reckless abandon.  You see, I now knew what the problem was.  Therefore, in my mind, I could just figure out or create solutions to the problems launched by my ADD.  I heard that my old coping skills would need to be addressed, but that was alot of work and I was now energized by my new revelation.  Well, the utopia lasted a little while, but the only real differences were that I could focus for the first time ever due to the medication and I now knew what was causing me do do things the weird way that I did them.  Eventually, my chosen life path had to come to an end (I had started my own business) because my wife had this crazy need for our bills and debt to be paid (didn't she trust me?).  So, a few months ago, I got a real job in sales.  I must say that I really do enjoy the job and I actually wish I had taken the position years earlier.  However, I have now realized that I have got to get some sort of grip on my ADD.  So, here we go!  I am going to track my progress on this blog so, knowing me, it should be interesting, horrific, weird, and random all at the same time.  Hopefully the shrapnel and screams will not be too much for those around me.